Something To Be PROUD OF (Death)
Jonathan's Gifts To The World ~ DEATH
It's Complicated ...
When you listen to the lyrics of the song that Jonathan wrote six years before his death, do you get the idea that he was almost prophesying his death and helping you to heal?
If you sensed that, you aren't the first person to say that. Jonathan's dad burst into tears as the song didn't have an artist to sing it until very soon after Jonathan's death. It's maddening ... and exciting to experience the crazy mind of Jonathan even after his death. Trust us, it will get even stranger as we go deeper. :-)
The Gift Of Jon's Heart In Music
Where were you?
Where were you when you heard of Jonathan's death? Pretty crazy, right? It's like time stood still as one of the many movies that Jonathan loved. Everything is frozen - in time and you will never forget.
In a way, you want to forget it, but in another way you do not. Strange ... right?
There is the shock, the "this can't be true", the overwhelm ... and every other possible feeling, pain, hurt, shock - it overwhelms the senses.
What happened?
What happened? How did it happen?
When we hear ... little to no details are mind starts to race and we wonder. If we hear when we ask "How did he die?" and we hear "It's complicated." That adds to the pain, the hurt, the confusion and we wonder "Is the family trying to hide something?" It' makes no sense to us.
WARNING!!!
DO NOT read the following if you are not prepared for graphic language and vivid details. You may want to be around a loved one just to be safe. Jonathan loved movies and wanted to be a movie maker from a very young child. Some would consider the following an "R" rated movie with violence and gore. If you go into an R Rated movie and they clearly tell you, you don't blame the movie company or the theater. You take personal responsibility. We have warned you!
Memories ~ It's Complicated ...
Maybe we heard ... it was a gun shot? Was it an accident? Was he murdered? Did he commit suicide? Jonathan was 30 years old and his youngest brother, Tim who was 19 years old was in the room when it happened.
Tim heard the gun shot but was facing away from Jonathan when it happened. It couldn't have been suicide! Who commits suicide in the room when someone else is in the room? That makes no sense.
Tim heared the gun shot ... turned around and saw his big brother slump to the floor. Tim saw the results of the riffle shot to the head and can clearly see that his brother has no chance to survive.
Jonathan shared ...
At the celebration of life service Jonathan shared through his father some pretty interesting thoughts.
"If Jonathan were here, I know that he would say I made a choice which caused me to have my life taken from me and I own that choice. I am so very sorry for the hurt and pain that my death has brought on each one of you."
Jonathan's dad went into and said ... "I know that Jonathan would have said that as he didn't blame others for his choices and I loved that about him. I want to say that while Jonathan took the first position of ownership and rightfully so, I, as his father, am compelled to take the second position. Jonathan and I, for 15+ years, worked so hard to prevent this day from happening and we succeeded for 15+ years and we failed. I will bear this wonderful burden for the rest of my life, as his dad. Jonathan and I are so very sorry for your pain and loss."
Mark Boersma ~ (Jonathan's father)
What's interesting . . . is that every time Mark Boersma has shared this people try to say "It wasn't your fault." you can't take ownership of the choices that Jonathan made. Ken Bucci, a friend of Mark shared a few days after Jonathan's death ... "Mark, people shouldn't be giving you condolences, but should be asking you how you think."
Another friend of Mark's whose son also committed suicide 12 years ago said to Mark ... "I do not know how you healed so quickly. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not angry at my son and full of guilt."
More will be shared in healing and awakening sections on this.
So What Really Happened?
After over three weeks, the police ruled it a suicide. Based on the details that Tim shared of that night, Tim and Jonathan's family believe it was a suicide ... but Tim did not see Jonathan pull the trigger.
Jonathan was also drunk.
What makes it hard to believe is that the last year of Jonathan's life was probably one of the best years of his life. He had a dream job that he loved.
He worked for a gun optics company and was paid to go on hunts, shoot guns and produce cool, fun and exciting videos which he also loved to do.
He was earning more money than he had ever earned, had just purchased a new truck he had dreamed of, sold a house that he had rehabbed, had made a lot of money on that and was getting ready to purchase a house of his dreams.
Had just come back from a bear hunt, had shot a bear and shared with his dad "Dad, I have never had more fun in my life. It was so exhilarating. I have never felt more alive. Oh . . . dad, I almost died three times on the hurt as well . . . but it was so much fun!"
The night after Jonathan died, his dad met with the six other siblings and other family members and shared ... "We as a family have been given a wonderful gift. If Jonathan had died on the bear hunt, people would have romanticized his death and said 'He died doing what he loved doing.' Yes, it would have made it far easier on us but the why he died ... will force us to heal in ways which will make us stronger and will help Jonathan to leave a far bigger legacy."
Hurt At A Heart Level ...
Jonathan's mother, two brothers, four sisters and so many others are hurt at a heart level.
Jonathan's dad and uncle were talking soon after Jonathan's death and likened Jonathan's death to a pipe that had 100 psi's (water pressure in the pipe) and it when from 100 psi's to over 10,000 psi's.
Jonathan's death and anyone in a similar situation reveals very quickly where the leaks in the pipe are. The leaks which are in our own lives are not Jonathan's fault. His death does reveal so much about so many things and so many people.
So Do You Have Guilt?
Guilt, shame, hurt and/or pain ...
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How do we turn it into good?
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"A death like this brings so much clarity to those who want it."
Mark Boersma ~ (Jonathan's dad)
In our interview with Mr. Boersma, he shared that it seems to him that very few people want to see the leaks, to take the responsibility for their contribution to his death. People actually don't want to deal with it at all. Often even those who are closest to the blast area. His dad shared, through tears, what it's like to invest 30 years into someone and have it all taken in a second. He shared what it's like to have a son where your businesses where intertwined, all the amazing memories of going to Africa together, traveling around the country together, how every movie, every computer, every video, horsing around, crazy laughter and having fun reminds you of a son that he loved. So many amazing memories and some really tough ones as well.
Youngest Brother's Story ...
Jonathan's youngest brother was visiting Jonathan for a week ... and then one night ... everything fell apart. The youngest brother's story is heartbreaking and no one should ever have to experience what he did in seeing his brother die instantly and then seeing the aftermath. To see the results to his brothers head, to see the blood, to hear the sound of the gun shoot ... the pain the hurt, the trauma. The good news is that the youngest brother is working to not only be helped but to be healed. In that healing he will have the ability to help others to heal and the ultimate gift is to help prevent others from getting into situations where their own lives are in danger as the lives of others.
Healing
Why have we provided so much gory and gruesome detail? There are many reasons we have done this but the number one reason is to help to prevent this from happening to others and the second most important is to provide healing for others.
AWAKENING
What's the next step beyond healing? It's being AWAKENED on a daily, hourly minute by minute basis that we are created to be the most amazing human and spiritual beings and how to we live that each and every minute we are alive?