Triumph & Truth 

Being a MAN ... A FATHER

Being a MAN ... A FATHER

It seems ... that Mark's perspective of being a MAN ... being a FATHER is ... well ... let's say a bit old fashioned.  We would encourage you to not make quick judgements.  In spite of us sharing this, most people will still make quick judgements rather than hear us out on Mark's perspective of being a MAN ... being a FATHER.

Foundation ... Mark's Back Story ... 

Father's Day ... Sunday, June 15th 2025 is when the idea of Mark sharing his story of being a MAN, a FATHER was concieved.  But it started eariler than this ... that his journey into manhood into be a father began.  

When we interviewed him for this ... "Wow, was he all over the place."  He was 61 years old ... but on the pickleball court and in many other areas of his life, he felt like he was in his 20's again which is where he was when he had his first daughter ... GingerAnne, and then Jonathan, and then Melissa, Katrina, Angela, Benjarman and Timothy.  And then ... there were three little one's that he and his wife lost in the womb.

You won't believe his amazing and heartbeaking journey.

VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW!

Mark's a BIG Rules guy.  Mark has 100's of rules that he lives by.  These rules are to protect others from Mark's ... let's say directness.  ~ click here ~ for a few of his rules he's documented.  One of the things that Mark has callenges with is that he feels he should give credit to people for helping him see what he sees.  Now, due to Mark's social autism, he thinks that people will thank him for his integrity in giving the credit to those who helped him discover the crazy insight into human beings that he does.  But ... well ... honestly people often do not like to recieve the credit so he struggle's with what to do.

So ... on this very special Father's Day, June 15th, 2025 ...

Mark would like to thank Josh Collin's for inspiring the idea of giving him the following gift.  Josh is Mark's son-in-law and married to Mark's oldest daugther GingerAnne and they have six precious children and one who died in a miscarriage.  Mark's Father's Day gift to Josh is 52 Tips, one tip for each week of the year to becoming the man, the husband the father that God created us to be.  

So ... Mark is very considerate of those around him and doesn't like to overwhelm people, especially humble people with too much praise so Josh, all these tips are coming from my own life, my interaction with you, my three sons, my other son-in-law, the boyfriends of my four daughters.  It also includes observations from my three brothers and lots of other men as well.  Josh, if you and/or other men in my life would like Mark to be more details on his observations, the stories behind each tip, Mark says that he would be happy to share the stories and his observations of those stories and give each of the many men he has known over the decades he has been blessed to be on this planet.  

A Gift for your Dad on Father's Day!

Would you like to get the men in your life a useful and rare gift? Just think there's so many things out there that can be fun; however, they don't actually help men become the father/men that they were created to be.  We can help you! 

52 Tips To Being A Man ... A Father

Tip 1: It's NOT about YOU!

Flash back to Father's Day, Sunday June 21st, 2020.  It's a day that Mark says he will never forget ... well ... that's not true actually, he doesn't remember much about that day other than that he needed to be there for his wife and six of his children. 

See ... a few days earlier, on Wednesday June 17th, Mark's oldest son Jonathan died.  He committed suicide, riffle shot to the head with Mark's 19 year old son in the room five feet away from Jonathan when it happened.  

See Josh ... all men, being a father is ALL about others, not's not about you!
Video Podcast

Tip 1:  It's NOT about YOU!

It's strange to me, Mark says ... "How Jonathan, who was married, wasn't a father seemed to "get it" ... at least he did in the above song he wrote the lyrics to around six years before his death."   

SEE Men ... SEE Father's it's giving up your time, talents, treasure, trust, truth, temple and thought (the 7 T's we all have) for your wife and children.   your energy, your pleasures, your desires ... it's just NOT!!!  

You will feel the most confidence the best about yourself when you are truly sacrificing for your wife and children!   
Audio Podcast
  • WORK!!! ~ When you chose to have sex, hopefully with your wife, you choose to willingly have the possibility of having a child ... of being a dad.  Man up and become the man your creator, created you to be.  Work is ... well work.  It's doing things we don't want to do.  It's not pleasant, it's not enjoyable, it's something that we we may rather be doing almost everything else in the world.  This is your choice!!!   Don't be a wussy man and blame that on the women you had sex with.   
  • SACRIFICE!!! ~ You think you're a nice guy.  You SAY you are a nice guy!  And the best of all is "You FEEL like you're a nice guy!"   You aren't ... you just aren't!!!   Do you enjoy the work you do for a living?  If you enjoy that then it's really not work.  Don't even think that that time counts as work, it does not!   You aren't working until you are giving up something you enjoy doing ... making a sacrifice for your wife and children.  
  • RISK! ~ It's risky to really know yourself.  Oh ... try this.  Ask your father-in-law what he really thinks about you ... AND ... give him permission that he can be honest and direct with you and promise him that you won't be a baby to his daughter and whine to her about how mean and hard her dad is to you and/or that you take your own feelings of weakness that your father-in-law exposes on your wife, your children and/or your mother-in-law, or the siblings of your wife.

Tip 2: Don't Try To Be LIKED ... 
Be RESPECTED!!!

Josh, like many sons in laws wants to be liked by his wife, children and father-in-law.  Desiring to be like as a man, as a husband, as a father or as a son-in-law won't work for you.  Why you ask?   

SEE to be like by someone you really need to tell them what they want to hear, do for them what they want to do and not challenge them to become who they were created to be.  When you challenge them to become who they were created to be ... they won't like you ... but they will respect you.  And that what some say men desire more than anything else.  But to do that, as a man, you need to be willing to WORK really hard, to make crazy SACRIFICES, and to take RISKS.  

Tip 2: Don't Try To Be LIKED ...
Be RESPECTED!!!

It's strange to me, Mark says ... "How Jonathan, who was married, wasn't a father seemed to "get it" ... at least he did in the above song he wrote the lyrics to around six years before his death."   

SEE Men ... SEE Father's it's giving up your time, talents, treasure, trust, truth, temple and thought (the 7 T's we all have) for your wife and children.   your energy, your pleasures, your desires ... it's just NOT!!!  

You will feel the most confidence the best about yourself when you are truly sacrificing for your wife and children!   
  • SEE!!! ~ So ...  in general, you will feel like you are liked by your father-in-law when you are respected by him.  SEE ... you can't TALK your way into being a great husband and father.  Your father-in-law will likely know if you're a wussy man.  His daughter doesn't have to tell you what kind of a husband you are, he will know.   If you get angry at your wife saying anything to anyone about anything you do ... well ... that reveals you are an abuser of your wife emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably a lot of "...ly's."   Just saying.  
  • THINK!!! ~ Use your brain man!!!  If you're focused is to be liked ... then you're the type of man that is a talker (Tip #5) not doer.  You're the type of "man" who will "Be Nice" to people to win them over.  Your children don't obey or respect you. They obviously will like you when you're in a giving mood or they / your wife does what you want them to do.  You give them gifts, you let them eat what they want to eat, watch what they want to watch, do what they want to do ... oh ... your children will like you for sure, but they will not respect you.  
  • DO!!! ~ Step up men ... Don't be fearful of people not liking you.  Don't be fearful of your children not liking you.  Don't worry about your father-in-law liking you.  BE a MAN!  DO ... DON'T TALK!  DON'T BE AN IMPOSTER ... where you treat your wife and kids one way in public and another way at home!

Tip 3: Don't Be An Imposter!!!

Whatever you do ... DO NOT ever tell your father-in-law that you are an imposter and then say "That's a good thing."  SEE ... maybe your wife, maybe your children probably your mom and family ... have learned to "accept" you for who you are.  Your father-in-law, if he's a great one, will be curious and ask "Why is that a good thing?"  

DO NOT SAY ... "Well if you're an imposter long enough, you'll actually become who you are pretending to be."   NOW YOU WON'T!!!   Now a number of Ivey league schools have researched lying and the brain and they have discovered that if you lie long enough your brain will accept that lie.  But your wife won't and your children will eventually grow up and they will SEE that you have been an imposter and they not only not respect you, but they won't respect you either ... AND ... THEN ... 

Tip 3: Don't Be An Imposter!!!

The only person you are fooling is yourself.   Yes, it's true ... if you are all sappy nice to your wife in public, around her family or your family or the church or your friends ... those people who are lazy and/or imposters themselves MAY believe you but most people won't.   

SEE ... you'll get the feeling that no one really likes you ... and sadly that's more true that not.  Yes, you may be interesting to them for a while and the first time they meet you they might gush to your wife and her parents how amazing you are as a husband / son-in-law how attentive you are to your children and how great of a dad you are, but your wife being your wife will likely WORK REALLY not to laugh.  Your nice mother-in-law will try not to give you up as the imposter you are ... but SEE ... your father-in-law doesn't have to live by the rules that everyone else does.
  • SEE!!! ~ Whatever you do ... DO NOT go on vacation with others.  WOW ... people will quickly see that your children don't obey you, i.e. don't respect you and shoot don't even like you ... unless of course you let them do whatever they want to do and make your wife always the bad guy.  
  • THINK!!! ~ Use your brain man!!!  No matter how many times you tell yourself that you give 24 hours a day or maybe you are really humble and share that you give 20 hours a day for your family.  Wow ... 20 hours a day, that only leaves 4 hours a day for yourself.  Sure ... that's only likely to be 50% of the work you do because you have a real job and are only working 8 hours a day, if that.  Does your wife have a constant fear or maybe it's AWARENESS that your bosses will find out that you are an imposter and you'll get your sorry ass fired or laid off.  And if that happens, she knows that will just give you a reason to play even more video games and she'll have to push you to get a job ... and helping out with the kids ... around the house, even if there's a move happening ... you've taught her in the past, not a chance can she depend on you for that!  
  • DO!!! ~ Step up man ... Don't lie to yourself, don't be a con man!  You're NOT a great husband and father ... shoot, you may not even be a good husband and father.  Just because you provide for your wife and your children financially (with the help of your wife) that doesn't make you a great husband and father!   

Tip 4: Be Self-Aware!

So ... do we really know ourselves?  If we take to heart / internalize "The Heart Is Deceitful And Desperately Wicked, Who Can Know It."  When men, husband's and father's lie / deceive themselves ... it's dangerous to himself and those around him. 

How is a husband / father to know himself?  When his wife and/or children are angry at him ... that is often the best time to get the truth.  Wives' and children tend to be trained by their husbands / fathers and are trained by the husband / father to not be honest with them.  

Hopefully your father-in-law will be honest with you.  But even he may not be if he feels that you will take your anger out on his daughter.  

Tip 4: Be Self-Aware!

Likely your friends will value your friendship more than they do you as a person.  Even your parent's often aren't honest with you as a man due to their fear / awareness that you will become defensive / upset / passive aggressive and/or will make them pay for them being honest with you.  

Hopefully your dad help you realize that you aren't that smart ... you aren't the center of the universe 
  • SEE!!! ~ Whatever you do ... DO NOT go on vacation with others.  WOW ... people will quickly see that your children don't obey you, i.e. don't respect you and shoot don't even like you ... unless of course you let them do whatever they want to do and make your wife always the bad guy.  
  • THINK!!! ~ Use your brain man!!!  No matter how many times you tell yourself that you give 24 hours a day or maybe you are really humble and share that you give 20 hours a day for your family.  Wow ... 20 hours a day, that only leaves 4 hours a day for yourself.  Sure ... that's only likely to be 50% of the work you do because you have a real job and are only working 8 hours a day, if that.  Does your wife have a constant fear or maybe it's AWARENESS that your bosses will find out that you are an imposter and you'll get your sorry ass fired or laid off.  And if that happens, she knows that will just give you a reason to play even more video games and she'll have to push you to get a job ... and helping out with the kids ... around the house, even if there's a move happening ... you've taught her in the past, not a chance can she depend on you for that!  
  • DO!!! ~ Step up man ... Don't lie to yourself, don't be a con man!  You're NOT a great husband and father ... shoot, you may not even be a good husband and father.  Just because you provide for your wife and your children financially (with the help of your wife) that doesn't make you a great husband and father!   

Tip 5: DO ... Don't TALK!

Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself TALK?   In lesson #6 "You be you and let me be me." one of your past favorite statements ... but even that is ALL TALK!  
See ... if it feels like everyone else doesn't want you around ... the reason you're getting that feeling is ... well ... likely because it's true.  Now ... for sure you mother will never say this and likely your wife won't say it, nor will your kids ... but see ... your father-in-law will say it.  You are a "Relational Retard!"   Don't worry ... your father-in-law accepts this fact about you are what you are.  For sure he's puzzled as to what happened to you that caused this to happen to you, but he accepts you as you.  So ... this is how it's going to work.  If you don't learn how to control being a relational retard then he won't control his social autism.   

Tip 5: DO ... Don't TALK!

And ... whatever you do ... DO NOT expect your wife to control her father.  Shoot, she can't control you and you being a retard and talking over people rather than with them.  

You don't have to be the smartest person in the room ... meaning ... you can let other people talk and not always try to "one up them."  Yes ... no one will question that you know a lot of things about a lot of things but everyone can tell that you are NOT confident and you are insecure which is why you are talking all the time.   

Listen to others.  Shoot ... if your wife's #1 thing she wants in her husband is curiosity then for crying out loud be curious.   For being so smart in so many things ... one would think that you would have read "How to win friends and influence people" and you would know that you need to ask questions and then listen.   NO ... relational retard, do not just in and throw up all the wisdom and knowledge you think you have but it only shows you how insecure you really are.   
  • SEE!!! ~ While your father-in-law may not say it publicly he's thinking that you are a relational retard.  Is this in your DNA or is it just how you were trained?  No one seems to know and now they mental health profession is calling it BPD ~ Borderline Personality Disorder.  In the old days they just called it being selfish, being stupid, being self-centered, self absorbed and only caring about yourself.     
  • THINK!!! ~ Many in the mental health profession say their is no cure for BPD, and that that person is going to either commit suicide or will make those around them so miserable that they've thought about it more than once.  Hmmm Mark might have a different perspective.  It seems to Mark that there is ONE thing and ONLY ONE thing that the BPD cares about and that is they care about himself.  Yes ... without question they are masterful, if nothing else, in their own minds in showing how HUMBLE they are and how RIGHTEOUS they are CARING / GIVING they are.  They TALK so much about WHAT they are they don't have any energy left to DO anything other than talk.  
  • DO!!! ~ OK ... so this isn't brain surgery or rock science.  Let's try this.  If you have a week off of work or a day off of work or if you have extra energy .. DO NOT invest your life into gaming, or into doing things that you love doing.  Invest it into what your wife loves doing and/or your children.   You'll have plenty of time, when you are hopefully old ... if your wife and children don't leave you before then ... to spend as much time as you want self-pleasuring your mind to think of what an amazing person you are.   

Tip 6: You Be You ... 
Allow Others To Be Them!

Tip 7: Your FEELINGS Don't Matter!

Tip 8: Your NOT very SMART!

Tip 9: Don't be Addicted to LAZY!

Tip 10: Take Personal Ownership!

Tip 11: Don't get DEFENSIVE!!!

And then get defensive about being told the truth that you are defensive!

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