Friendship

Backstage Podcasts

1-19: What if the hardest part of friendship isn’t loyalty… but honesty?

Welcome to Voices of Integrity—your voice in my headset—where we dig into the real, messy, often uncomfortable truth about relationships.

Solution?

Today’s conversation opens up a big question: Not deciding… is that actually a decision? And if it is, what does that mean in friendships, especially when things get complicated?

We explore what happens when people say they don’t want to “pick sides”… but end up choosing one anyway, when silence protects the wrong person. When avoiding conflict creates more serious damage.
This isn’t a surface-level conversation. We get into the tension between being stuck and being locked. Because there’s a difference—and how you respond depends on which one it is.

We also unpack something most people don’t stop to think about:
Why aren’t we more curious in our friendships?

Why do we stay at shallow levels when something deeper is possible?
Audio Podcast
And what actually holds people back from going there?

You’ll hear raw questions, real scenarios, and perspectives that challenge the way we think about trust, self-awareness, and emotional honesty.
This episode might not give you easy answers—but it will give you better questions.

And sometimes, that’s where real growth starts.
If something here hits you, don’t ignore it. Sit with it. Talk about it. Share it.
Because at the end of the day, we can accomplish far more together than we ever could on our own.
Have an amazing day
Video Podcast

1-18: What If The People Closest To You Don't Know They're Hurting You?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, a raw and honest conversation about pain, personality, and the friendships that form when people choose to absorb hurt rather than expose it. From impulsive reactions to the driver who raises intensity when others shut down, it's a deep look at sensitivity, songs, and what it really means to fly together.

Solution?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, we unpack why the people who hurt us most are often the ones who have no idea they're doing it — and why telling them doesn't always fix it. We talk about personality types, emotional reflexes, and why the amiable starts fires while trying to avoid them. We talk about a nine-year-old boy who bought his mom sour cream and onion chips and made her cry — and what that moment taught him about sensitivity that most men never learn in a lifetime.

Sometimes the story behind the hurt says even more than the hurt itself.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-17: What if your pain was actually shaping your purpose?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, a powerful original song sparks a deeper conversation about growth, identity, and the moments that define us. From being the “black sheep” to finding strength through struggle, it’s a raw look at self-awareness, truth, and the lessons we often don’t see until later.

Solution?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, a powerful original song sparks a deeper conversation about growth, identity, and the moments that define us. From being the “black sheep” to finding strength through struggle, it’s a raw look at self-awareness, truth, and the lessons we often don’t see until later.

Sometimes the story behind the song says even more than the song itself.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-16: What happens when frustration meets honesty?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, real conversations unfold around life, choices, and the weight of consequences. From tough parenting lessons to questioning our own thinking, the group dives into something most people avoid… looking at themselves honestly.

We explore:

From tough parenting lessons to questioning our own thinking, the group dives into something most people avoid… looking at themselves honestly. 
Why do we ignore the connection between our choices and their impact on others?
And what if the real growth begins when we ask… what if I’m wrong?

Raw, reflective, and thought-provoking. This one stays with you.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-15: What Does It Really Mean to Be Part of a Team?

Why do some teams thrive while others fall apart? Why do a few people carry most of the weight? 
And what actually makes someone a real team member?

We explore:

On the Voices of Integrity Podcast, we explore the realities of teamwork. The conversation dives into responsibility, communication, and the hard truth that sometimes the strongest team members unintentionally carry too much.
We talk about why people join teams, what they expect to gain, and the responsibility each person must take if the team is going to succeed.
If you're building a team, leading one, or trying to become a better teammate, this conversation will make you think.
Audio Podcast
Join the conversation live at www.ravingfan.net
Wednesdays at 3 PM (ET).
Video Podcast

1-14: What if this was the last episode we ever recorded?

Would it change how you listen? How honest are you willing to be?

We explore:

In this episode of Voices of Integrity – Your Voice in My Headset, we have a real conversation about friendship. What moves it forward? What slows it down? When does care start to feel like control? And what happens when growth stalls?
We talk about ownership, patterns, and why some friendships deepen while others drift.

If you’ve ever felt a shift in a relationship, this one will make you think.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-13: What kind of friendships are you building?

Are the people around you sharpening you… or slowly lowering the standard?
And how do you know when hard truth is growth… and when it’s just ego?

We explore:

On this episode of the Voices of Integrity Podcast – Your Voice in My Headset, we dive into a raw and unfiltered conversation about character, integrity, and the environments we tolerate.
We unpack the difference between calling out behavior and labeling people.
Why do some conversations create growth and others create division?
How confidence, personality wiring, and ego all shape the way we respond to challenge.
And what it really means to pursue truth without losing humility.
This isn’t a polished conversation.

It’s a real dialogue about virtue, standards, faith, and personal responsibility.
Audio Podcast
If you’ve ever wrestled with where you stand… or who you’re standing with… this one will make you think.

Join us live Wednesday at 3 PM ET
Join here: www.ravingfan.net

Come listen. Come reflect.
Because growth only happens when we’re willing to examine ourselves first
Video Podcast

1-12: What happens when someone you love knows their actions are hurting you… and nothing changes?

In this episode of Voices of Integrity, in partnership with The White Male Over 50, we dive into emotional maturity, internal family systems, and why adults sometimes show up as wounded children in relationships.

We explore:

Why can’t you change another person — only yourself
The difference between safety and strength
Confidence vs. value
Why deep relationships require conflict
What it means to “grow up” emotionally

If you’ve ever felt like you were arguing with a 5-year-old in an adult body — this conversation is for you.

Join us on Wednesday at 3 PM ET.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-11: What does Mark think about on his 62nd Birthday?

Nora and I were talking yesterday after the podcast, in the evening and she shared that her dad passed away a few years ago in February.

For family & friends ...

I think my dad was a good dad ... Maybe the best dad that he could be. It seemed to me that my dad ... May have stopped growing many years before he died? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my feeling.
I loved and cared for my dad ... but maybe ... no more than he loved / cared for me? Not sure?
I think of my children ... and hopefully how I will pass before they do ... And I wonder what their thoughts will be? I guess some of my children won't listen to this podcast ... Which is fine ... I guess?  
 I feel sad ... for them ... I wonder if they will feel their loss a lot more than I feel a loss for my dad?

It's SO very interesting to me ... how a man can be a husband / father / brother and those closest to that man may not know him very well ... whereas ... Does it seem that someone who has only known that man for a few months might know him far better than those closest to him?.
Audio Podcast
Hmmm ... I don't like celebrating my birthday once a year ... so ... When the ladies made a proclamation / edict / spoke something into existence that they would celebrate my birthday every day ... forever ... Naturally, I didn't like that at all. :-) NOTE: When I speak about what "the ladies" said / did, that is what I took away from the conversation. :-)

I wonder ... if my children and past friends would want to listen to this podcast ... before I pass ... I wonder if they might have questions for me that they can ONLY get answered by me while I'm alive.
People are strange ... Interesting.

Hmmm ... I just thought of a most interesting question for Nora. It will be very interesting to hear her answer
Video Podcast

1-10: Why is it so hard for men to commit?

Not just to marriage.
Not just to business.
But to anything that requires long-term effort and growth.

Interesting... Right?

In this episode of the Voices of Integrity Podcast, we talk about what commitment really is and why avoiding responsibility keeps people stuck.
Because commitment isn’t intensity.
It’s consistency.
If this question hits close to home, this conversation is for you.
Join us live at www.ravingfan.net
Wednesday at 3 PM (EST)
Fair warning: this one might challenge how you see commitment.
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-9: Think you’re a good listener?
Most people are wrong.

In this Voices of Integrity coaching session, one simple question exposes why teams stay stuck, meetings drag on, and overwhelm keeps winning.

Mark breaks down:

• Why people rate themselves high but still miss critical details
• The listening mistake that costs time, money, and momentum
• Why overwhelm isn’t the real problem, but how your brain responds to it
• The mental shift that helps high performers move faster under pressure

This isn’t theory.
This is real people, real deadlines, and real coaching in action.
Audio Podcast
If this kind of conversation matters to you, join us live at www.ravingfan.net

Fair warning: this episode may permanently change how you think about listening and overwhelm.
Video Podcast

1-8: When Someone Says “You Disrespected Me”… What Do They Really Mean?

Ever notice how people claim disrespect but can’t give a single example?

Seriously?

In this episode, Mark, Nora, and the group dive into what respect really is, how it gets weaponized, and why manipulation often hides behind vague accusations. From family conflict to church settings to friendships, this conversation pulls no punches.
Why do people avoid specifics?
Why do bullies rely on feelings instead of facts?
And what happens when someone finally calls it out?
There’s strong language.
There are strong opinions.
There’s a clear line drawn around protecting women, calling out bad behavior, and refusing to play games.
Audio Podcast
This episode isn’t about being nice.
It’s about being honest.

If this kind of conversation matters to you, join us live at www.ravingfan.net and be part of the discussion.

Fair warning: this one might change how you see “respect” forever.
Video Podcast

1-7: Do you shut down when someone criticizes you?

Or can you pause, get curious, and learn from it?

Seriously?

In this episode, the group explores black and white thinking and why feedback feels like a personal attack. They talk about level four friendships, the kind that risk honesty for growth, and why most people avoid them. The conversation challenges the idea that criticism defines who you are and invites a better question: what part of this might be true, and what can I do with it?
If you’ve ever struggled with defensiveness, growth, or real connection, this one is worth hearing.
Audio Podcast
Use Up or Down Arrow keys to increase or decrease volume.

Find this interesting? Join us at www.ravingfan.net and be part of the live discussion.
Video Podcast

1-6: How Many Level 4 Friends Can You Have?

Can you have a deep friendship if you don't heal and the fear of losing someone keeps you holding back?

Wondering?

Do people choose to be hurt? How can we learn to self heal and not depend on others around us to respond a certain way because of past pain in our life? Mark and Nora have been pretty open about their friendship and this podcast is no different. If you like real, raw, behind-the-scenes conversations about friendship, healing, and the power of personal choice, you'll want to listen to this one.

Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

1-5b: Do you care about your spouse's feelings? - Part 2

     Are you thankful and grateful to your spouse for what they do or have done or do you just come to expect it?

Questions?

Mark and Patrick talk about how to be thankful and grateful for the things your spouse does. Don't just expect your spouse to do these things if you don't. When you are thankful, your spouse has no problem doing what is asked of them.
Also, the older women need to teachthe  younger women how this is done. Women need to appreciate the things their husbands will do for them if they are grateful. Men will do anything for their wives if the women appreciate them and teach their kids to do the same.
Audio Podcast
Driver personality seems to be the most appreciative in both men and women of the things their spouses do. How do we change that?
Video Podcast

1-5a: Do you care about your spouse's feelings? - Part 1

   Do you think your wife cares and do you want her to care about your feelings?

Seriously?

Patrick and Mark discuss feelings and how they've learned not to share their feelings with their wife. When men share their feelings with women, women tend to make it all about themselves. Women seem not to care about men's feelings, just as important as their own feelings are. Why is that? Women think that men should just be tough and macho beings, and seem not to have feelings. But men are human, so they therefore have feelings, but feel they have to just "suck it up" to keep women happy.
Audio Podcast
Find this to be an interesting podcast? Join us at www.ravingfan.net every Wednesday at 3pm (est) and be a part of the live one.
Video Podcast

1-4: Frequencies and Being A Level 4 Friend To Ourselves

Do you ever feel taken advantage of? Do you ever feel that you give FAR FAR FAR more to others than they ever do to you? What does our frequency have to do with our friendships?

Curious?

GingerAnne brought up on a Friday podcast ... "How do I become a Level 4 Friend to myself?" which really got Mark to thinking ... a lot. So ... when you go through this podcast, work to improve your empathy muscles.
Based on Mark's voice and body language, what do you feel Mark is feeling? Does it seem like Mark is frustrated? Do you get the sense that "He's just giving up." ... or ... maybe resolved to ... acceptance of certain things?
One thing that he didn't cover is the cumulative effect of many low-frequency people around you and what that can do to you. 
Audio Podcast
If you are either lazy or weak in your emotional / mental / frequency relational muscles, it's probably best for you NOT to go through this podcast. Hmmm ... well ... if you were lazy / weak and/or a low frequency and wanted to know how it felt to be around you ... then ... it would be good for you to watch this podcast and share it with others you know.  
Video Podcast

1-3: Loyalty --- Work ~ Sacrifice ~ Risk

This is a most interesting podcast!!! Mark goes back into memories / experiences when he was in his 20s and building up a business / employees / team members. Mark thinks of all the people he's developed over the years ... so many people and the conversations he's had with them ... the "agreements" and how ... not one person has ever lived up to what Mark shared with them.

Curious?

I'm going to invest a lot into you ... and my expectation is that you would bring someone on to replace you, so I would never have to train someone again like I have you. And ... NOT ONE person has ever done that. Mark laughs when young men ... act like boys and say, "Well, it didn't work ... So why try?" ... AND/OR ... Someone screwed me ... mistreated me.
Mark is known for his tact, so he doesn't say what he's thinking 99% of the time, and it's funny that even the 1% that he does share, people get offended by that.  
How do you help both young men and young women to realize and steward what they have been given?
Audio Podcast
What young and old, it seems ... don't realize how much they screw others and how much of life ... and maybe ... who knows ... eternity ... is missed out on due to a lack of working to discover one's life vision, through the passion circle ... AND ... then comes the hard WORK, the great SACRIFICE and taking the massive RISKS which seems to be required to achieve what one has been put on this planet for.
It's no wonder that older men don't invest in younger men or women. 
Video Podcast

1-2: Do Friends Use You?

What's the most interesting conversation to have with our friends? Is to ask your friends this question? Will you ask your friends this question? Most likely you will not. Why not?

Curious?

Is it because you are fearful of exposing to your friends "The True You"? Don't worry, they already know this about you, and they accept you ... because they are using you, just like you are using them.
If you haven't read the famous white paper Wii-FM ~ click here ~ do so right now! 
What's fascinating is to understand/accept this concept upfront with people and learn how to not hurt others and/or get hurt yourself. 

Video Trailer

Audio Podcast in Progress
Often, the amiable personality is the one who hurts the most people and gets hurt the most ... but ... no worries, everyone can play the role of taking advantage of others.

What's maybe the biggest lesson to be learned here? Maybe ... it's to be SELF AWARE and to realize that if you are "The Taker," it's important to know that. To be "The Taker" and not be aware of it is both sad and dangerous. The second thing to realize is that ... with a few people ... or maybe it's many people ... but when you exit someone's life ... that friend that cares more about you than they do the friendship especially ... well ... trust us ... what you've gotten ... from that person is FAR FAR FAR less than what they have to give.

SEE ... those who are, what we call MASSIVE GIVERS ... have learned and will give you only a small part of what they have to give ... to test your heart.
Video Podcast in Progress

1-1: Backstage Passes

So ... it's crazy ... isn't it ... how much Mark ... and Nora when she joins Mark on the spontaneous podcasts. Mark shares that it can take 100 or even 1,000+ podcasts to get a great one. What's so interesting is that there are some real hidden gems in these backstage podcasts.

Curious?

Mark loves to hear feedback on everything he writes, is written about him, and/or podcasts he has done.
Email mboersma5@gmail.com with your thoughts, questions, and insights from what you observed.
There's a cool process Mark discovered which helps us to internalize ... gain the most value from everything. It's called Manage Up & Out. When we learn how to internalize things quickly, we learn more, earn more, and help more people in less time.  
Audio Podcast
Video Podcast

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Level 4 Friendships

Questions & Experiences

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